STRENGTH FROM SCARES

How Do Friendships Shape Us?

Friendship is one of life’s greatest treasures, enriching our experiences with love and support. True friends are there in tough times, offering comfort and encouragement. They celebrate our successes and lift us during failures, reminding us that we are never truly alone.

Yet, friendship can also feel like a double-edged sword. While it brings immense joy, it can sometimes lead to pain and disappointment. Misunderstandings, differing life paths, and unmet expectations can strain even the strongest connections. Some friends may stand by us for a lifetime, weathering the storms of life together, while others may drift away, leaving us with a sense of loss.

Each friendship, regardless of its duration, teaches us valuable lessons. From the joy of companionship to the heartache of parting, these experiences shape our understanding of trust, loyalty, and vulnerability. They challenge us to grow, adapt, and learn more about ourselves and others. Ultimately, the richness of our friendships, with all their complexities, contributes significantly to our lives, reminding us of the importance of connection and the beauty of human relationships.

The Importance of True Friends

Life becomes meaningful when we have true friends who uplift and accept us for who we are. I personally value friends who challenge me, encourage me to think critically, and genuinely care for my well-being. I strive to be that kind of friend myself.  

Genuine friendship allows for effortless communication. You shouldn’t have to second-guess your words or actions around someone you trust. In my youth, I often sought numerous friends, never settling on a single best friend. Each phase of life brought different companions, and I remained committed to honesty in friendships.

I learned a significant lesson from a friend who chose to remain in my life despite feeling hurt by a misunderstanding. She taught me to consider both sides of a story before making judgments, deepening my respect and appreciation for her.

Learning from Temporary Friendships

Some friendships serve as fleeting lessons, teaching us resilience and acceptance. Those unable to tolerate our flaws will often move on, leaving us to reflect on our worth. I once held onto friendships, trying to change myself to fit in, but growing older has shown me that it’s healthier to let go of those who don’t align with my true self.

Reflecting on my school days at St. Bridgets’ Convent, a private girls’ school in Colombo, Sri Lanka, I realise that friendships formed there have lasted a lifetime. Our diverse group, comprised of Sinhala and Tamil students, built strong, persistent bonds. We had around 24 students in our Tamil division, and most of us studied in the same school until grade 13. Even the girls who left for other schools or abroad kept in touch and are still good friends.

Choosing Quality Over Quantity in Friendships

While some friends may bring negativity, we must recognise these relationships and distance ourselves. It’s far better to be away than to suffer in the company of those who don’t genuinely care for us.

Friendship is about forgiveness and bringing people together, but it can hurt when others don’t reciprocate. Over time, I’ve accepted that not everyone is meant to be a friend, simplifying my life and focusing on those who truly matter.

Friends create lasting memories, and having true friends can illuminate even the darkest times. Recently, I celebrated my 40th birthday in Sri Lanka, surrounded by friends who have shared countless beautiful moments with me. We laughed and reminisced as if we were back in school, demonstrating that true connections never fade.

Knowing that I have true friends—beautiful souls who stand by me—no matter how challenging life becomes, fills me with gratitude. I will always cherish these relationships, as they are the essence of a fulfilled life.

^{True friendship is not about being inseparable; it’s about being separated, and nothing changes}

A study by the British Psychological Society found that 84% of people in the UK consider their friendships to be crucial for their happiness and mental well-being.

Research from Mind, a mental health charity in the UK, indicated that 29% of individuals reported that toxic friendships contributed to their anxiety and depression.

_Reference

_{British Psychological Society. (2018). “The Importance of Friendships for Mental Well-Being.”}

_{Mind. (2019). “The Impact of Toxic Relationships on Mental Health.”}